What the.....?!?

I'm not admitting defeat.....just a realization.  I think I may have just realized having a sixth baby may have forever changed my body shape.  There, I said it.  I struggle and struggle, well okay not really, but I workout religiously.  We're talking at LEAST three times a week for an hour, that's a usual minimum, some weeks it could be five days.  Anyways, I've got the whole working out thing down, enjoy it even.  So why does my body not change. 

Granted it may have a little to do with my diet.  But really before Cici was born, I could really eat about anything in moderation and still lose weight little by little.  So what's changed besides one more year passing?  I'm 34.  Not 44.  Not 54.  I should still have an adequete metabolism.  It's all so frustrating.

I put on my size 10 jeans, and they fit fine-ish.  My belly is a little more jelly-like then it was a 18 months ago.  That may disappear in time.  But man, they used to fit nicer.  My rear and hips are plentiful.  Those too may go down in time, but they may not.

I hate drastically changing my diet.  I know what I should eat, and I know what a want to eat.  I try for a good mix.  I tried to give up sugar, but who was I kidding?  I love to bake.  What's fun about baking and then not eating it?  Nothing, that's what.  So I wasn't baking, and you know what?  I missed it, my kids missed it, my husband missed it.  So today I made cookies, really good cookies.  You know what else?  I ate a lot of dough and three cookies.  But I'm still full at 7:39pm. 

I guess I shall just revise my goal as fitness and not jean size.  Although I would love to wear 8's.  I have never worn 8's as an adult.  But I will survive and thrive without ever putting my plentiful behind in a pair of size 8 jeans.  Amen.