Parenting is really tough sometimes

I'm having an especially difficult time lately.  I wouldn't necessarily qualify myself as a lazy parent, but one of the perks of having six kids is that really they keep each other company.  They don't need me to entertain them (as if that is something I would do) as they have one another.  Need a partner for a board game?  Need a crew to band together to play school?  Need someone to play guitar hero with?  There are always built in buddies....partners.

Well my kids aren't all five and three anymore.  I have a twelve year old, one that's in sixth grade.  We are getting close to those grades where the actual grades you receive really matter.  I've always taken for granted that my kids as a general rule did well in school.  It seemed so easy.  Yes, yes I have homework to check most evenings (which I totally hate, except when its a subject that interests me), but they do their work and move on with life.

Well lately one of my older boys is really struggling in school.  He's never been a real go-getter.  He has many, many great qualities...homework is just not a strong suit of his.  This lack of desire he has towards doing his homework has become a real problem.  He's not only doing badly in school, but creating bad work habits.  We have tried grounding in general.  We have tried, in lieu of grounding, giving additional chores to complete (for example he had dish duty non-stop until his grades went up).  We have tried incentives.  I can't believe the hoops I have been running through, not to mention my son. 

Well it's a new quarter, and new grades are popping up on our daily emails we receive from his teachers.  Not. Good.  So we resolved to a new tactic.  Total isolation, well relatively.  We do live in a small house, with lots of people living here. 

I remember a story my mom told me of when she was raising children.  My brother when he got into some trouble, was grounded.  My mom was told by someone that he wished he could be grounded at her house.  My brother got TV privileges, movie nights with popcorn and m&m's with the family.  He got to hang around and socialize.  This comment made, shook my mom to realize my brother was not learning a lesson, and henceforth grounded him to his room...isolated.

This is the precise problem my husband and I am facing.  My son is not learning a very valuable lesson.  This is extremely frustrating for all of us.  So here we go with his fourth quarter of sub-par grades and we are going to try deprivation techniques.  See here's the thing, my son thrives on the social of our large family.  He's an integral part of it.  In fact I'd go as far to say that when my husband isn't around he's my right-hand man.  He loves to be a part of everything that goes on.

His grounding is as follows:  (Please don't judge, we're trying to find just the right fit here.)  My son is grounded to the basement(his room), no TV, no video games, no time upstairs with the exception of meals and showers.  I've got to say I've seen him do more homework in the past three days then I have the last quarter.

He is to bring home all books and notebooks/binders every night whether or not there is an assignment.  He failed to bring home his math book today and my husband hauled his sick behind and my son to Norris to pick it up.  Good thing too, as there were several problems on his daily homework he didn't complete, which of course irked us to no end.   

He is a social butterfly, my son.  I think he focuses so much on being cool, and being liked, that homework doesn't rate.  I also hate that my son who thrives on being social cannot be.  I hate it so much I just want to call the whole thing off.  However, I know we must stand together and stand firm, but it's really tough.  I want him to succeed.  I want to hand him the tools he will need to succeed.

I love that I have a blog to use as a platform for my laments about parenting.  Wish all of us luck!